{"id":571,"date":"2017-07-28T15:44:48","date_gmt":"2017-07-28T15:44:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/zeroniche.com\/?p=571"},"modified":"2022-10-19T10:04:00","modified_gmt":"2022-10-19T10:04:00","slug":"job-lingo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/job-lingo\/","title":{"rendered":"Job Description Buzzwords &#8211; The No-BS Guide to HR Speak"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Job ads are entertaining. Where else will you find companies doing their utmost to be hip, while simultaneously assaulting us with cringe-worthy jargon? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I analysed job postings to find popular words used as job lingo and I\u2019ve matched these words with their actual meanings. If you're currently in the employment marketplace you can use the list below to help understand what you might be getting into. I enjoy interpreting the copywriting that job posters use to make us feel like <a href=\"http:\/\/keithjlang.com\/you-are-not-your-job\/\" data-type=\"post\" data-id=\"829\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">having this job is what we should aspire to in life<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Note: These following phrases are from actual job descriptions. The summaries are my own interpretations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Excellent communication skills &#8211; You can talk to someone without scratching your nether regions at the same time<\/li><li>A sense of humour! &#8211; You\u2019ll be putting up with some unbelievable crap so we hope you don\u2019t have a breakdown<\/li><li>Fresh fruit, snacks and drinks &#8211; Your home life is so over-rated. Stay!<\/li><li>Learn new things every day! &#8211; We expect you to deal with random tasks unrelated to your position<\/li><li>Rockstar &#8211; You want to work here and just proves you\u2019re not a Rockstar but soon you will feel like you\u2019ve been up all night taking cocaine and drinking alcohol<\/li><li>Ability to think on your feet &#8211; You\u2019ll have no time to prepare for the onslaught of problems<\/li><li>Uncontrollable urge to investigate and solve problems &#8211; You have ADHD<\/li><li>Self-starter &#8211; Apart from being a word that most experts say you shouldn\u2019t put on a resum\u00e9, self-starter in a job&nbsp;description means the company has no idea what it's doing but management hopea you can figure it out before they&nbsp;go under. Thanks<\/li><li>Passionate &#8211; You have nothing else in your life apart from this job<\/li><li>Cutting edge &#8211; New frameworks and technologies will be forced upon you haphazardly and you\u2019ll be expected to figure out which ones will crash our&nbsp;systems&nbsp;before it actually happens.<\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Job ads are entertaining. I analysed job postings to find popular words used as job lingo and I\u2019ve matched these words with their actual meanings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":588,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"Job ads are entertaining. I analysed job ads to uncover the BS in the jargon-heavy descriptions. Here&#039;s what they are really saying.","_seopress_robots_index":"","_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[86,13,14],"tags":[21,34,37,41,49,71],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=571"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2270,"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions\/2270"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/588"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/keithjlang.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}